There’s a saying: Want to become a spiritual master? Go spend time with your family.
First the background. I always felt like the black sheep of my family. I was the baby and younger by five years to the next oldest sibling, and eleven years to my oldest. I spent more years alone, or apart from them than I did with them, and in many ways that qualifies me as not only the youngest, but as an only child. Double trouble or double blessings, however you want to look at it. I just remember from my earliest memories, not feeling a part of the crowd. Maybe that’s why it was easy for me to connect with the spiritual crowd instead – seeing and feeling what I called Angels since about the age of 4, and listening to and talking to the flowers seemed perfectly normal to me.
I came from a loving, big, close, Italian, dysfunctional and abusive family. I loved my family. And though I enjoyed being with them and the laugh-fests we would have, I easily recall a sense of not being able to wait to not be with them too. A strange feeling growing up. So as an adult I did what many people who felt like that do – I moved away. Far away – from Wisconsin to California. I realized early on that I thought about life differently. I am for one, inherently optimistic, and have a strong sense of faith, and trust that life will treat me okay. I guess that’s because I “survived” what hurt so much; and also because those were the words I heard my angels tell me – the voices in my head assured me of this. I also exude a joy that permeates my being, making me look and feel much younger to those who meet me, yet, as my sister would say, “with a very old wisdom.” This is not unusual for the “baby” or an “only” child. Statistics show that the worlds greatest entrepreneurs, risk-takers, adventurers, hold those two family positions, they are naturally more independent and don’t carry the weight of responsibility that the older child carries, nor the competitive struggle for identity that the middle child carries.
So I left home and found my spiritual family. Those who spoke my language. In my early twenties I still remember the feeling of pure bliss the first time I ever heard someone say, “You have a choice about how your life is going to be; you don’t have to live it like a leaf in the wind, commanded by your past, your family’s expectations, and the habits you’ve developed.” Wow! I knew inside myself the statement was true, but didn’t know where those people lived who also believed that, who could be my comrades on a path to a positive, ”designed” life where the world actually supports me instead of delivers bad news daily on my doorstep! I further retreated from being around anyone or anything that could inject unhealthy thoughts, negative possibility or bad energy into my life. I stopped watching television, completely at 30. Now nearly twenty years later I still don’t miss it. I get my taste of “The Office” on the many airplanes I’m on – I’ve seen other shows occasionally but couldn’t even tell you their names.
So, I actually resisted really “being with” or spending time my family for nearly a decade. Looking back, I know it caused pain to some, mostly my mother. But I was finding myself. My own way. And when I spoke to her, or listened to her view on life, I just felt depressed. And I didn’t know how to communicate with her so that she could hear me, without getting defensive or without wanting to change my viewpoint, and I just didn’t know how to deal with her reactions then. So I chose to stay away and be where I felt uplifted. Life has a way however, of not allowing you to run forever from the truth of who you are. My truth showed up in my early thirties, and over that last decade continues to deepen, as I continue to find deeper layers to my peace.
Back then, I dove into my personal development on all fronts, and really began tackling the emotional barriers to my freedom, and I began sensing the resistance lift. With my emotional energies clearing, I no longer reacted the same to my family who for the most part hadn’t changed; and most importantly, I no longer needed the acceptance or validation from them. I hadn’t realized I was still seeking it. But that was the reason, I couldn’t relate to them. Once I let go of needing them to understand me, and the need to have them “see” me the way I wanted them to; once I “got off” of wanting them to see my viewpoint, and more importantly, to take positive action to make changes in their life’s, so I didn’t have to see them suffer and feel helpless, powerless, to do anything about it, I began smelling the sweet smell of Karma burning (and consequently a new increasingly empowered state of being emerge). Read that last sentence again; it’s a big one in more ways than one.
Let me explain that. We are connected to family whether we like it or not. We can choose to leave, but our ancestral dna and energy follows us wherever we go. We cannot break the ties of what came before us anymore than we can survive after ripping out our heart. And once we begin to accept who we are, to embrace and even love, the parts of our ancestral energy that we may have wished for years would just go away, we begin to start creating NEW patterns in our dna and energy field, or another way to say, we begin burning off negative karma and creating good karma, by the buckets full.
First, what is karma? It literally means “action.” As a universal law it would be translated as “cause and effect.” We take an action that is either wholesome or unwholesome, worthy or unworthy of our true nature as spiritual beings of love, and the trajectory of that action propels into the future, until it is stopped or changed by an equally powerful action. There are many ways and with many people we can change our karma. However, the work we do in honoring and transmuting the negative energies from our ancestry, or family, goes much farther, faster than any other shift. And we know it, instantly that this is so. How? Because we will immediately see new patterns, opportunities, positive possibilities show up in our life in great leaps. A friend of mine, who cleared some karma with her father, and who immediately had an opening with her husband who had disappeared for days and returned, said this: “You talked about change occurring with my husband in God Speed, once I cleared the karma with my father, but it wasn’t God Speed - it was God BadaBing!”
Our family holds our greatest ability and opportunity to change bad karma to good. And that is also why, karma with our blood family is the most challenging. ”Honor thy mother and father” should take a whole new meaning and understanding now. That is one of God’s commandments from the Bible. That may have seemed like a statement of control. However, I view it as a pure karmic clearing directive – one of the biggest clues to living a life of freedom we’ve been given throughout many of the ancient spiritual teachings from any religion.
Of course this brings up many questions, I know. Go ahead and ask them and I’ll share my thoughts. Otherwise I’ll just write more later on the topic of The Fam and your Spiritual Mastery.
with love and joy, Spryte