I failed you. I’m sorry.
I am saying this to all of you following my blog because I told you that in March I would be giving you a free copy of my EBook, “Open Your Mouth and Say AAHH: 7 Truths that Activate Your Most Joyful, Creative, Blissful Life,” and now I’m not.
It’s the end of the month and its not close to being complete. I want to share with you what happened. You see I don’t believe in making excuses for myself. I used to do that so that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty or the feeling that is typically deeper and truer about letting someone down, or not being true to our word – that’s shame! Ugh. I hate feeling that one. But to avoid it in the past, I would tell you all about the reasons “life” got in the way and I was too busy, or this project came up, or I didn’t feel well, or… You get the picture. You’ve been there on occasion right? But you see now, I go right for the truth, and that is: I put other things ahead of this project and commitment, and I kept fooling myself all month thinking I could meet my own deadline, instead of admitting the truth to myself and to you.
So here I am. Admitting the truth. What I wanted more than to complete my book by March, was to “be” in the experience of my new life here in Ecuador. But when I first got here and made my commitment, I was still in this rush and thrill energy that made me feel like I could tackle the world! So I over-committed. That’s a habit I’ve had most of my life. Over-commitment actually is rooted in low self-esteem and a desire for approval. And there is nothing conscious or beautiful about it. So what I’m doing right now is “telling on myself.” I failed to be honest with myself, and because of that I was unable to be honest with you. And the thing is, what I’ve been doing often instead of writing are all the things I need to in order to bring a deeper, wiser ME to my writing. I’ve been calling this time in my life, my “exhale.” For the first time in twelve years, I’m exhaling! And you see, I didn’t realize that I even needed to exhale when I made that commitment to complete my book by March – because I was still in my inhale – the doing of life that has kept me so busy all these years.
So the bad news is that I don’t have an EBook to share with you – yet. But there is some good news too. The first is that I hope you’ll look at your own life and ask, “Have I over-committed to myself or anyone about anything? Have I made a promise, set a goal, or communicated an intention that I may not be able to keep? If I’m choosing to allow life to take me in a new direction, how am I communicating this to those in my life? If life threw me a curve ball I didn’t expect, and that alters a commitment, how can I take responsibility for that?”
You’ve heard the saying, Life happens while we are making other plans. This is true. So I don’t beat myself up over stuff like this. But it’s also why I come clean, first with myself, and then with anyone else who may be effected, as soon as possible. This is how I live a life of what I call “being in alignment” with Spirit. My knowingness is that what makes my life work like true MAGIC and MIRACLES is because I am in alignment – that means I always tell the truth, even if it hurts, and I pay attention to my commitments and my word. I have let go of the perceived right to leave things incomplete, to say what I think others might want to hear, and to give myself excuses for behaviors that I know in my heart are less than who I am and am meant to be. And it’s a path I highly recommend!
So here is the other good news. I’m going to still share something with you from my book right now (and you’ll still be the first to get a free copy when its complete)! My editor, Jessica Vineyard, is going to wring my neck, I know. But I’m giving you the UNEDITED Introduction Chapter. She hasn’t even seen it yet! So, you are getting the raw, rough version. And I’d love your feedback if you want to give it. If you’re anxious to read more, I’m sure that will further inspire me to keep writing. I actually am loving the writing process for this book. I am living it and am in my delicious AAHH literally every day. And my life is very, very good. And I truly can’t wait to see more of you in your AAHH.
As for the completed EBook, and do I have a new date? No; not right now. But you can be sure when I give myself a new date, I will communicate that with you.
So, for now, I hope you enjoy the Introduction (it will be in the next blog post!), and I look forward to sharing our AAHH’s together.
And those of you reading this who haven’t yet hit that little FOLLOW button that is peeking out of the top or bottom left or right corner of your screen (depending on which internet browser you are using), please do! As this next post won’t be publicized to my social media outlets, just to Followers of my Blog.
Dance, Love, Smile…. Spryte