Homecoming

by Spryte Loriano

maybe today I don’t want to write

maybe today I want to do nothing

maybe today I want to paint or dance, or just breathe

maybe today I want to touch the sky,

open my wings and see if i can fly

or maybe today i want to cry.

and maybe today I want to die – to the part of me I learned to be

and maybe I get to be free –

and maybe I get to be Me.

I don’t know why

I feel like I could be at the top of a mountain with my hands up high

and screaming with all my might;

and I don’t know why

I feel like I could be running naked on the beach with nothing

but the sand between my toes and feeling exposed;

and I don’t know if it matters that I know.

and I rather think it doesn’t, so

I just breathe into the love inside

and make a promise to myself and to you that I

will not die to

the love and the hope and the light that is burning a new path to your door –

and feeling stronger than I ever have before,

and that I see what all the learning was for.

so that I could be free –

and that I, get to be Me.

 

Written by the fifteen year old girl inside. Who I was then, when she first left. My sister whom I hardly knew, and never would for three decades. And that sadness I’ve carried for so much of my life, that had no where to go- though I prayed, I forgave, I cried, and I gave- and had no way to heal it except by her face, her voice, her presence , has now been redeemed. She is home. And so am I.